3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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