hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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