just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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