It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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