Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize