Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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