well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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