My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
