That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
