i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
