Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
