So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
