I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
