im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The beer is more important than you right now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
