dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
