my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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