And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
