def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
