When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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