someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
