i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
