i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
