Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
