Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
operation harelip BJ is a go
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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