Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
