Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just threw up on my dentist
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
