that's an acceptable place to lick
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
