I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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