break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
