I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
