Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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