you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
