hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
