why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
