dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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