he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize