I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
