I just cut my nipple shaving
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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