Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
