Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
