you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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