I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
