my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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