Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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