but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
