This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
