this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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