I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
