their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
