I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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