Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
