so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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