Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Randomize
