fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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