I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
