Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
