I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
