So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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