When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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