coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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