Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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