We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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