So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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