Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
