how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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