I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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