Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
