He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
