Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
