We're facebook friends in real life
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
