I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
