is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize