Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
